Christmas season sickies & clouds opening up..

I had it all planned...the day after Thanksgiving, we're going to decorate with Christmas music, get our tree, and bake everything chocolate! I cant wait! I love this season! Then the next day, David and I wake up superrr sick. After a week of me passed out on the living room floor and my wonderful husband staying home to take care of us, my color starts to come back and I start to come out of it only to really see how lifeless & sick David is. God definitely brought me to my knees that night which started out with desperate crying out to Him for my baby...to that peace that passes understanding. I love when He does that. The night was pretty unforgettable. But through-out the night, David gets worse, so we take him into Jason's hospital. He was positive for H1N1 and also has pneumonia. Of course we were admitted with a lovely week stay to Miller Children's Hospital in Long Beach...compliments of our friendly insurance company. I stayed on bedrest as David wouldn't allow me to get up for a moment without crying in fear that someone is going to hurt him and I'm leaving him alone. Poor guy, he pulled out his i.v. one day and the next the i.v. infiltrated causing his arm to blow up 4x the size which is super painful. With a couple other little mishaps, David was not digging our little vaca one bit. But little by little, my favorite guy got better and better and they let us leave. Below are a couple pics of our last couple weeks. I'm just going to include January into my Christmas season and get the most of it!

at home

crossing his fingers he wont get poked again

feeling much better, watching baby einstein with daddy

cuddling his uncle robbie

we just get home and he's so happy, he gives his mama a bonk (what he does when you ask for a kiss)

all better!

*a side note...a small confession.

I have been harboring some guilt in my heart for a very long time. I take David to different therapies thru-out the week and I see many babies who have life-time disabilities and who are much worse, as far as health goes. And here I am, my son is perfectly healthy (with extremely underdeveloped lungs, but they will grow). Yet I see other kids his age walking, talking, eating...the list goes on. The worrying about when he will catch up seems to be knocking at the door a little every day. I continue to be bombarded with questions by "specialists" and many other people about when or if he's going to catch up, and why isn't he doing "this or that" yet, and am I doing enough "this and that" to help him...etc. Whatever, I'm held to my own responsibility for my own actions and heart. But I still don't like where my heart is...worry, and even comparing sometimes...a lot. That part really breaks my heart...my own action.

...a little deliverance. :o)

These last 3 weeks have been super challenging with things surfacing in life and me fighting to overcome. One of them being this morning. I was having lunch with some people who also have either early developed or disability children. I'm half listening due to little sleep, and I vaguely hear the words "LIVE for the NOW". Though I've heard it before, that moment hit me almost as hard as when I was praying for a name and got David. A peace fell over me and sunk in so deep that nothing could interrupt that moment. I felt like if God were sitting across from me at the table, He would be telling me, "YOU received this little boy as a gift from ME exactly the way he is, PERFECT." Yes, he is tiny, and yes he is very under-developed in many ways, but none of it is permanent. And the doctors can't even guess or compare when he'll catch up cause none of his docs even had or ever worked with a case to where a baby has survived with not a drop of fluid from 16 weeks on. So with that....I am no longer going to worry about the future of tomorrow or next year, or the year after that...cause that burden is not mine. My only burden, is to love up this little kiddo and enjoy his life. So all of you as my witness...I've laid this at HIS feet!

welcome fall!

My season is here! The holiday coffee, amazing food, cuddly jammies, fire place lit, and Laker season has begun. Though every year I miss the snow back home (Chicago), you still cant beat this Southern California weather. It's the middle of November and we're STILL riding bikes to the beach. I'd have it no other way. Here are a couple of pictures of this previous month's festivities.

family having pizza and wine on Corona Del Mar Bluffs.

David's first pumpkin patch. He's loven it.

Sarah had us girls and our youngens over for the most amazing breakfast and coffee. We dressed the babies up in their halloween costumes and had a baby parade down to the park we're we blew bubbles and just hung out. I love my girl friends...it's never boring with them!

my monkey.

sarah and her little pirate. arrrrr!

sweet bumble bee skylar. she's getting so big!

Every once in a while we meet either at the bluffs or park for picnic with the husbands and kiddies. This was our pumpkin carving night where our good friends Nick & Teri surprised us with a little news. :o)

And here are just a couple pics of halloween weekend.

sweet ashlyn....or is she?!

like papa like son!

cousins.

And last but not least, right about after this was taken, we had to move the bouncy from in the doorway to the middle of the living room because he was smacking his head again the door jams. Crazy kid!

cruise to Cabo!

Being that I have 9 appointments a week that I take David to, along with many other little things that come with being a mama to David, I had a little melt down. Apparently I can tire out. So my hunk of an amazing husband decided to surprise me with a 5 day cruise to Cabo for my 31st birthday! Perfect time. Though I cried like a baby over leaving my little guy behind, we got our much needed, awesome time together and I got my reboot so I could come back to being a good mama.



Cabo was amazing! We stopped at 4 different restaurants for beer, chips and salsa (so full) and we kayaked over to the famous arch and hung out at Lovers Beach exploring the caves and rocks and swimming in the warm, clear blue water. It was just a perfect day. The "out at sea" days were great too...sitting in the sun with cocktails and Jason eating more softserve than I've ever seen someone consume. One early morning, it was super foggy that the fog horn was going off every 1 minute. You couldn't be outside in the center of the ship or you'd either go deaf or die of heart attack everytime the stupid thing went off. So of course, Jason and I run to get our cup of coffee and prop some chairs inside the glass waiting for unknowing bystanders to walk outside from down stairs into the zone. One guy was lighting a cigarette right when the horn blew and the cig went flying out of his hand as he stumbled forward almost falling. Another couple was walking snuggly together when the horn blew and this lady literally did the running man straight up in the air. Jason fell to the floor laughing at that one. Another little boy did a fast spin and jumped up and down clawing his dad till his dad had to run them back inside. We had the best time!



On a quick note / praise report....David is finally eating! For those of you who dont know, because he had a tube down his throat for so long, the roof of his mouth is super high causing him to have a pretty hard gag reflex and making it hard to suck and eat properly. So the only way I've been able to feed him is force feeding him with a syringe every meal. He goes to ocupational therapy twice a week for that and even she cant get him to take food from a spoon. Wellllll, leaving him with his Aunt Katy for almost a week, he's not only eating from a spoon perfectly now, but he also had chicken, peas, carrots, apples, and peaches! He's also taking about 4 bottles of juice now to where before he'd only take about 5 ounces of liquid a day. Thank you GOD and Aunt Katy! That's 2 things I can now lay down and worry about no longer. Ahhhhhh.



Enjoy some pictures below, though most of them are just the one arm stretch getting our cheesy smiles.

**Thank you so much Katy, Mom & Dad! You're the BEST!!! xoxoxo**

Havasu trip

Usually once a year, Jason and I try to take a trip somewhere outside the country...but of course, life with a baby, planning ahead doesn't happen too much anymore. So, since most everything was booked everywhere in the whole world (no joke)...we take the fam to Havasu. Obviously I've never been there or I wouldn't have planned it for August. But never the less, it was totally relaxing and tons of fun! We can't wait to do it again!

july play!

So far July has not been too shabby! Except for the severely sore (long bike ride with friends) and sunburned butt i'm sitting on right now, this month pretty much rocks. My sister's 2 girls went to NY to visit their grammy so we spent a whole week with just us girls and both our little guys. What is it about being around your sister that makes everything 100 times funnier? I haven't laughed so hard at absolutely nothing is a long time! It was probably one of my most favorite weeks!

Here is where we went to see Willy Wonka outside at the Orange County Performing Art Center. Everyone brought blankets and food and wine. So fun! Then below that is David with his cousin Gabe.

Fussy Gabe.

David giving Gabe lovings.

Looking guilty! David's saying "me?!"

After David's first day at ICEC (Intervention Center for Early Childhood), he came home and ate his first real solid food, star puffs. I've been trying to feed these to him every day for about 2 months and he just gags and throws up. Because he was intubated at the hospital for so long, he has a high roof in his mouth causing extra sensitivity. But when his dad tries...david takes it like a pro. Below is when he first put it in his mouth. Jason's reaction was classic. Wish you could see his tears.

This is David's first art project. First art and first food all in one day!

We were having a dinner picnic with frisbee next door at the park with our friends and David and Skylar were just chilling being as cute as can be listening to some Bob Marley.

Sky is even sharing her finger with David. Luckily he didn't bite!

This was a 6 1/2 hour beach day. David was super good till the very last 1/2 hour. Such a beach kid.

Ashlyn and David.

This is David's first time in the pool. He loved it!

After a long day, David was having a hard time falling asleep. Finally Jason went upstairs but 1/2 hour later when I still hadn't seen him, I went up. This is how I found them. Perfect ending to a perfect day. I love these two.

continued summer..

David & I went with some friends for his first trip to the petting zoo! He kept bouncing in my lap but I think that was the excitement of hearing all the little kids scream. Except for the heavy load I put on the back of his stroller making it tip over and giving me a minor stroke, the morning was perfect!

This poor girl was about 2 ft high and 2 ft wide. I'm thinking the father must be either a clydesdale or elephant.

Wallace's "not sure about this" smile for the camera.

Kelly had to keep an eye on Emma, she likes the tiny little bouncy balls.

Aren't the babies suppose to be the one's waving? I think we have more fun on these play-dates than our little ones.

After the petting zoo, since Jason was working a 16 hour day, David and I cruised down to San Diego for the night to spend some time with one of my closest friend's Kelly. She's on a business call here when David starts cracking up over nothing totally busting her professional tone. The night was a blast and almost perfect except for the moment of a screaming David falling off the bed and getting stuck between the mattress and night stand. But the best was the next morning, after our adjustments, as I'm telling our chiropractor about how horrible I feel with the tipping the stroller and the falling off the bed, I'm putting David in his car seat and totally hit his head on his toy causing him to cry. :o( Dr. Spicer reassured me that it's okay, he's had those days too. Even though I know it's a lie, it made me feel better.

Well, to make up for all the injuries, David, Jason & I spent about 6 hours at the beach. He was so happy which brought my guilt level down a smidge.

Later that night we had dinner on CDM bluffs with some friends. We all brought our own food and wine and watched all the little ones run around and play. It was so much fun!

Taylor is trying on Jason's shoes.

Cameron is probably trying to get a hold of David's ears again.

Ryder and Brayden.. best buds.